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Important Information for all tourists of London

Welcome Tourists,
We are happy to host you in our amazing city and hope you are spending a pleasant time here.
We kindly request your attention concerning a new legislation on tourists. This new law, implemented by the authorities of London from the beginning of Oct. 2004, says that all foreigners who can not truly identify themselves as tourists will be deported to north african camps in order to do social work with rejected african asylum seekers.

As identification, authorites will request from all tourists proof of the consumption of cultural commodities during their stay in London. The law defines tourists as people who are consuming more than 200 Pounds per day during their temporary stay in London.

Attention: If people are not able to prove their consumption, there will be no second chance to claim the tourist status.
Since Oct. 14th, the Metropolitan Police Authority has installed checkpoints at various locations throughout the city. Tourists and people wearing strange clothing will be requested to verify their status.
This legislation seeks only to serve your own safety. We kindly request that you cooperate with the authorities and always carry your purchased commodities with you.
Background Information:
There is an increasing number of illegal tourists all over the world, people who are claiming a tourist status without participating in tourist activities such as consuming the culture and nature of the visited areas. The city of London as one of the most visited places in the world needs to defend her interests against the threat of illegal tourism. Tolerance towards false tourists could lead to a situation where-by the privilege of freedom of movement becomes a right enjoyed by everyone.
This dangerous development is effectivly addressed by our new legislation.
We kindly apologize for any inconvenience and wish you a pleasent stay in London.